Connecting The Dots of Healthcare

There are different “languages of healthcare.” Clinicians speak patient language but often don’t speak the healthcare language of regulation, quality, or finance. It pays to understand and effectively translate from one dialect to another. For instance, “medical necessity” may sound “clinical” but it’s really financial. For CMS, “medical necessity” doesn’t mean something that’s “medically necessary,” but rather “what Medicare will pay for.” If a certain service does not meet “medical necessity,” Medicare won’t pay. “Medical Necessity” isn’t clinical, it’s a financial agreement between a “beneficiary” (we clinicians call them “patients”) and a “provider”… (we clinicians prefer “doctor” or “hospital”). That said, sometimes physicians must understand common misnomers patients may express and the correct translation. Here are a few of my favorites…. abominable pain ≠ abdominal painflea-bite-tis ≠ phlebitisscreamin’ baby Jesus ≠ spinal meningitistechnical shot ≠ tetanus shot prostrate ≠ prostate, (but a rough exam can make one prostrate)athletic seizure ≠ epileptic seizuretestes ≠ tests, (but you can test ‘em)fireballs of the Eucharist ≠ fibroids of the uterus corroded arteries ≠ carotid arteries (but they can get corroded). The best technical misnomer I’ve heard comes not from a medical term, but a legal one. John Dolan, JD is a friend of mine from the National Speakers Association. John is a criminal defense lawyer, a national speaker, a frequent legal commentator on Court TV and Fox News, and a very funny man who co-hosts a radio program with another very funny member of the National Speakers Association, as well as a professional summarizer, Dale Irvin. John related to me a conversation he had with a client’s mother. The mother was calling John to let him know her son had been put in jail and had been charged with “assault with a dead battery.” John replied, “Well, there’s assault with a deadly weapon, or assault and battery, but unless your son hit someone with an old Delco, I don’t think it was assault with a dead battery.” The mother said she’d check with her son again and get back to him. Know the languages of healthcare and make sure your translations are accurate! Do you have any misnomers you care to share?